you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
