I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
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