im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
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I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
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i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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