were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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