I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
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