I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
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