it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
