If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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