Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
