I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
