I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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