My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
