bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
