At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
