But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Boobs speak an international language.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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