Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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