So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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