He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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