My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
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