Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
