the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
