Walk of Shame. In a state park.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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