My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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