The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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