I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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