so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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