Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize