Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i can't believe i had my finger in that
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Randomize
