everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize