ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
