I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
i now understand why vodka
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Randomize
