Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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