there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Randomize
