I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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