I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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