Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
