super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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