This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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