Your mouth is God's brothel.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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