last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
