Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
