I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
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