i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
