What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize