just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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