I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two words...techno handjob
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize