Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
