I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
