Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
