According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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