found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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