soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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