How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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