no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
