If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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