Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
