He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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