Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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