Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
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