He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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