I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
23 Concerns People Have When They’re About To Have Sex With Someone New
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
I can't put those talents on a resume
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.