that's an acceptable place to lick
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX