At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
