When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.