Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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