don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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