you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
