Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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