i don't like sucking hair
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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