So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
even my farts smell like vagina
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Randomize
