Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
