I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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