shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
